Weblog

Friday, 03 April 2009

  • I did it.

    Yesterday I stuck to my WW points. I'm so proud of myself. I was offered sweets but I said no. Yay! I think I might be able to do this. Tonight will be a real test. My hubby and I are going to a Murder Mystery Dinner at our church. I have no idea with they will be serving but I'm going to have to say no to it all to stick to my points again today. Wish me luck! lol Re-learning willpower is hard. Hopefully though It won't take too long and I can re-establish my good eating habits quickly. I'm off to the gym, BBL to post more.

    Breakfast -
    Lunch -
    Dinner -

    Water -
    Exercise -

Thursday, 26 March 2009

  • Love

    What the World Needs Now.......Love... (Featured_Grownups)

    Love is a funny thing. It can make you act stupid and say stupid things. It can make you brave or scared. It can make life sweet or it can make it hell. Love comes in so many forms. Motherly love, Fatherly love, Friendly love, I'm head over heels love, and so many more. What love sticks out the most in my mind? At the moment I'd say God's Love. It is unconditional. No matter what we say or do God always loves us and he even shows us daily. He doesn't come face to face with us and say "I love you" but he does show us. He shows his love for us in so many ways from the beautiful things he creates to giving us free will. We can always turn to him and he will be there for us waiting. My relationship with God has had it's ups and downs. Growing up Mormon played a big role in the downs but even with the downs I have always seen God in the things that surround my life. He has truly blessed me. I have an amazing husband and beautiful amazing daughters. When I look at my life I feel blessed and I know God had a hand it making it so. I remember a time when I didn't think I had a future at all. I thought I was going to die from being so overweight. I was depressed, sick, and sucidal. But even then God was there, he reached into my life and gave me a lifeline. He helped me change my world and gave me life again. My conclusion is God is Love. It's that simple.

Wednesday, 25 March 2009

  • I'm The One Who

    I'm The One Who... (Featured_Grownups)

    ·         I am extremely shy and quiet in person. I may smile at you but it's hard for me to start a conversation with just anyone. I'm more comfortable once I really know someone, then watch out! The goofy side of Jamie comes out but so does my heart. I get really attached to people and once I care about them it's hard for me to stop. I'm usually easygoing and who accomodates everyone else's needs before my own. I'm the one that does what I can to maintain harmony, sometimes to my own discomfort or inconvenience.

     

    ·         My appearance can be deceiving. I dye my hair random colors, have my tounge pierced, dress in alot of black. Most people wouldn't think I was the normal mom at first glance. I try to be myself but since I'm still finding out who I am so that's hard. So one day I look very soccer mom and the sorta goth. lol

    ·         I have discovered books again and I LOVE LOVE LOVE to read. Buy me a amazon gift card that I can use to buy a kindle book and I'm a happy camper. Ever since I found the Twlight Series when the 4th book came out, I haven't been able to stop reading. Check out my list on the side of my blog.

    ·         I love my Fast Combatives Class that I take at Family Karate. It's a great self defense class. It's only a hour long but I wish it was longer. It is a ton of fun and the class goes by super fast. Plus you get to hit stuff! yeah!

    ·         I am always tired weather I actually get to sleep through the night or not. I have to take sleeping pills to even get to sleep, plus I have low thyroid which even with my meds still makes me really tired all the time. I'm so use to being tired that I'm really good at hiding it. I just do what I gotta do and I don't let it stop me from anything.

    ·         I LOVE lean pockets. They recently changed their recipe to new one and it pissed me off because they ruined lean pockets!! So wherever I see lean pockets without the new symbol on it I buy them and as many as the store has. lol Yes, I am a dork.

    ·         I'm a starbucks addict. I'm addicted to Starbucks Mocha Frappucino Lights. I have at least one a day. (Bad I know)

    ·         I REALLY REALLY like sugar. It's one of my biggest downfalls when it comes to my diet. It's really hard for me to say no to candy or yummy cookies.

    ·         My life revolves around my kids. I have two amazing little girls whom I love so much! They are smart, funny, and full of life. And watch out, they do karate so they can kick butt! lol I feel truly blessed that I get to be their mom and watch them grow into amazing women I know they will become.

    ·         I love animals. Cats. Dogs. Birds. Etc. I'd probably would have a house full if my hubby would let me. But he won't so right now we just have fish and a Malti-poo named Callista. It is a little fluff ball that looks like a cotton ball with legs. hehe. She is super sweet and playful and I love her to death!

    ·         I'm a movie freak. I LOVE movies and probably own about 400. Maybe more, who knows. My kids have also caught this addiction although they are more into the kid movies of course.

    ·         I would love to be a night owl but no matter what time I go to bed I end up waking up early. Booo! I love staying up late and relaxing doing whatever. Mornings are evil but they always come so I usually go to bed alot earlier then I would want to because of my whole sleeping probs. I can't seem to sleep past 8am. Plus most mornings I gotta get the girls up and ready for school anyways!

    ·         I love my church and I love God. I go to the church at Rancho Bernardo. Its full of amazing people, love, openness, and caring. All of which the church I grew up in didn't have, at least not for me. God is amazing. I'm still on my search to decide what I believe about the bible and all that but I have always believed in God.

  • Starting Fresh

    So I have decided to start again. I had surgery on my arms a year ago and my eating habits went down the tolilet. My weight gain is my fault. I have had no self control and I haven't been pushing myself enough exercise wise. So instead of making excuses, I'm starting again. I'm not letting guilt or lack of self control stop me anymore. Today is a new day and I'm starting from here. I'm going back on WW because it worked for my in the past and I'm also going to up my exercise and push myself harder. I'm going to make sure I do strength training because muscle allows me to get and keep off the weight easier. I'm also going to try and post here daily. Not only about my life but my weight loss ups and downs. BBL to post more

    Vitamins:

    Water: 

     Exercise:

    Day Off


     Morning:  6 PTS
    Venti Mocha Frap Light

    FiberOne Bar


    Lunch: 5 PTS

    Boca Burger & Soybeans
     


    Dinner :


    Snacks: 


     


    WW PT Total:

     



     

     

Tuesday, 04 November 2008

  • Depressing

    So, I have big time messed up. I stopped bloging. Bad. I had surgery on my arm over 9 months ago, Good. I stopped being focused on my weight loss and started eating like crap. Bad. I've gained weight back. :( Really bad. So here I am because I feel like my will power that I worked so hard to get is gone. I like a failure. I know that my thyroid meds needed upped but even so, I wouldnt have gained as much if I didn't love food so much. This sucks. I need to go back and restart but I'm not sure how to do it. If you have any ideas or suggestions please feel free to tell me! I need help. Why can't I just stop eating?! <sigh>

Good Books

Alpha and Omega
Cry Wolf
Moon Called
Blood Bound
Iron Kissed
Bone Crossed
Marked
Betrayed
Chosen
Untamed
Hunted
The Summoning
Succubus Blues
Succubus On Top
Succubus Dreams
Blue Bloods
Masquerade
Revelations
City Of Bones
City Of Ashes
City Of Glass
Wicked Lovely
Ink Exchange
Vampire Academy
Shadow Kiss
Frostbite
Twlight
New Moon
Eclipse
Breaking Dawn

My Story



This is me on 1/5/00 at 370 pounds & gaining.


And this is me now. (214)

MY STORY

I have never been like everyone else. For a lot of kids being fat is something they never have to think about. Something they never have to worry about, and lucky them. But for me, that was VERY different. I thought about it every day of my life, what I ate and didn't eat since I was 10 years old. I started gaining weight rapidly. I ate less then everyone around me but I was the one gaining weight on a daily basis and getting bigger. I had people telling me to eat less and exercise more. Eat less when I was eating less then all the other kids already?

I'm surprised I didn't end up with a eating disorder too. As the years went by the weight went up and up. When I graduated from school I was already 270 and a year later when I married my hubby I was up to 310. Can you imagine being that big? Try picking up a 50 pound bag of dog food and walk around for a hour. See how tired you get from just 50 more pounds. Of course with my weight going up so quick, my health went downhill. I was going to the Dr every week for things. I couldn't paint my toes nails much less even see my toes. I would get out of breath walking from the car which was parked in the closing parking spot to the Store entrance. My ankles were so swollen they looked like balloons. My Dr finally discovered that I had low thyroid. Started me on meds which helped me not gain weight so fast but about nothing else....

After my hubby graduated we moved to San Diego for his job. Imagine being 350 pounds now and living in a city where everyone is obsessed with looks. I'd go out in public and hear comments n snickers n laughing. After a while I couldn't take it and would only leave my home when absolutely needed. I was a prisoner in my own home. Now I just moved to CA so of course I was extremely homesick as ALL of my family lived in AZ and they were my support. My hubby was busy with his new job n well not very interested in me anymore, n who can blame him? I had such bad sleep apnea that I would stop breathing 113 times in 1 hour. I was dying and I was invisible to everyone. This is were the thought of killing myself came in. I could no longer handle being so big that I was not really living at all. Well, one day I was online and just happened upon a website that saved my life in every way possible. WLS. Weight Loss Surgery. And NO, It's not a "EASY WAY OUT". It was either WLS or die a slow death. What would you choose? I choose WLS. I choose life. I'd either die on the table or come out in a better situation. Not much really to lose. I went into surgery weighing 371.

Well It worked. One and half years later and ALOT of exercise, I was 205 pounds lighter. I weighed 165 and I was happy and healthy and most important I was living life again. All my medical problems were gone. WLS saved me. Saved my life and made my kids possible! Yup, 2 years later I had my first child and 4 years later my second. I gained some baby weight and I was at 218 before starting my exercise and diet routine. WLS was just a tool for me and that's all. It gave me the chance to have a normal life. It doesn't mean that I won't gain weight back, I know, because well I did. I gained a total of 50 pounds between my two kids. But my kids are worth it and so I am. So here I am again WORKING to get weight off. Weight loss is not easy for me. It never will be. I was always have to work harder then everyone else around me with normal thyroids. But I'm ok with that. If I didn't go through everything that I have gone though then I wouldn't be me and I wouldn't have my kids who are my life. They are a big part of why I am trying to lose weight again, So I can around longer for them.

If you have any comments or questions about my story, feel free to contact me. :)